disengaged

i wish tomorrow would be over already. if this isn't going to be the biggest accomplishment of my life, then why is everyone making such a big deal out of it? i'm only 21 and i'd be selling myself short if i thought that tomorrow would mark the greatest day in my life, or even come close. i'm graduating. big deal. i was more excited when i got my first period. but if i ever expressed these thoughts out loud, people would only assume i'm fishing for compliments or as one of my friends misinterpreted it earlier, i have low self-esteem. in reality, my fancy is tickled by the occasions in life that rarely get celebrated. so sue me for not having more enthusiasm. or for complaining that on my "BIG DAY" i have to get up early and deal with traffic so my family can take pride in the past four years of my life. hooray.