i don't know what to do. i just want to position myself into a ball and sleep.
then maybe i can get all these negative nancy's out of my head.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
bend before you break
i feel like i'm about to explode. every corner i turn, there's a stressor waiting for me. whether it be my father shoving the military down my throat, my professor's giving out assignments that really won't help me in the future, my boss taking away my hours, PA schools telling me the courses i have taken will not satisfy requirements, the gym calling to me like i'm a fat kid, i just want a day free from stress. but let's face it, this isn't a fantasy world.
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lets turn negative Nancy into negative Nancy drew and figure out this mess. there are always those professors that waste your time and its part of a flawed system...not you.
ReplyDeleteI had to look up what a PA school was, but after figuring it out what it was...like a detective, i say...take a break in between grade school, relax...get the requirements done and simultaneously, develop other skills, move to a different state, near mountains and breathe.
your work doesn't own you, you own them, tell that to your boss....tell your boss that you will fire them...
now, is the gym literally calling you? because i'm sure that you can block that with caller ID
if you join the military, i'll come too
as for a stress free day you have options...you can take a day off and then have a lot of stress another day, like i LOVE to do. it can get bad, but hey...you had a good day and sometimes good days can get you through bad days
Or try to figure out how much stress you need...anxiety or stress is a tool that can be used if it is in a healthy amount. It can help you be motivated, plan, work, and be successful...unfortunately if it isn't a health amount, it can cripple you...like...making you want to curl up and sleep
As your sister i have similar worries, but i have more than just worries. I have a best friend who understands me, who can live 1000 miles away and still be close, which is awesome. I'm lost in all these crazy things that we are supposed to worry about like you are, but my life could be a lot worse without whats keeping me grounded. before bob, you were the only stable and meaningful relationship that made me connected to the world..and when i am mad at bob, you still are the only one!!!
you are amazing! i can honestly say having your friendship for the past decade has been better then having a family. You are a great person...your worries in comparison to how amazing you are don't even compute...they are nothing...they don't define you, they shouldn't control you, and you are better than them. i hope you can realize that and find solace in the fact that issues will come and go all the time and stress will always be waiting for you, but its nothing that your character cant handle. your f-ing awesome. you are my rock, and you complete me. i know, i know..i'm gay.