i've had it up to here

I'm just a girl in the world...
That's all that you'll let me be!
I'm just a girl, living in captivity
Your rule of thumb
Makes me worry some

I'm just a girl, what's my destiny?
What I've succumbed to Is making me numb
I'm just a girl, my apologies
What I've become is so burdensome
I'm just a girl, lucky me

a song i fell in love with in my youth. a song that unfortunately still holds true today. i thought that achieving something in my life as grand as a bachelor's degree by the age of 21 would somehow get you off my back. i guess i've been living in naivety this whole time. nothing i do will ever be good enough for you unless it's exactly what you want me to do. but tell me how that would help me grow up? it would only prove that i'm a spineless jellyfish and i conform to whatever mold it is you want me to. it would only make me dependent upon you for the rest of my life, because i would be unable to make any decisions on my own accord. so fine, if you want to continue to play the totalitarian role that you've played for the past 21 years, go ahead. i will have no more of it. and you can bet your bottom dollar that as soon as realistically possible, i will disappear from your life. so think wisely before you try to tear my accomplishments down to nothing and make me feel guilty for going to school, going to work, and interning while trying to maintain somewhat of a life. you're about to lose the one thing you claim to have cherished these past couple decades. this is not a threat. not a promise. but a memo to you that our relationship is in the gutter and will remain there until you learn to accept your own daughter.