so many times this thought occurs to me. "if only i had known this before" but of course we are not born with knowledge or wisdom, just naivety and a curious sense of wonder. it just makes me wonder even more about the future. why do i think i know what i want right now when i still have so much life ahead of me (God willing)? i've changed my mind so many times in the past, what makes me think that i am in any position to make any life decisions at this age- and will i ever be suited to make such decisions?
marriage- an outdated ritual or a significant component to a content life? i used to fear commitment, then i couldn't live without it, and now i find myself questioning it almost on the daily.
why the hell don't i know anything to this day?
i can't help but be frustrated by confusion at this point. no matter how much we think we've got it figured out, life simply has to take another turn to prove that we are insignificant as individuals to the grand scheme of things, or so it seems.
which brings me back to God. my faith has been the only thing present with me from childhood 'til now. i don't know how atheists do it, but i sure as hell couldn't make it through each day without knowing that my God will save me and everything i do is a part of His plan. with all the shady people in this world, i take comfort in knowing that God will always be there no matter what the conditions. at least i know that much.
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